


50 Words of ZAGR

by JoeMerl



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Frenemies Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz Being Gaz (Invader Zim), Gaz/Zim-centric (Invader Zim), One Word Prompts, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Unhealthy Relationships, ZADE, often. It's in character.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27465928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeMerl/pseuds/JoeMerl
Summary: Zim only cared about himself and world conquest. Gaz only cared about herself and her video games. In these fifty short drabbles, however, they also wind up caring about each other, for better or worse.
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	50 Words of ZAGR

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net on January 9, 2010, as a birthday gift for ZimsMostLoyalServant. 
> 
> As I reread this to decide whether or not to bring it over, I decided that it would be worthy with some actual editing. Hop over to my FF.net account (also JoeMerl) if you want to see the older and significantly less good version.
> 
> The author does not condone any unhealthy or abusive actions against one's significant other, no matter how in character it is.

**001\. Angel**

Zim had heard other hyumans refer to their love-pigs as "angels" all the time. Yet for some reason, when _he_ did it, all he got were weird looks and a thirty-minute lecture from Dib about theology.

**002\. Reason**

It didn't make any sense, but Gaz didn't care, and Zim…well, his grasp on logic was never too strong to begin with anyway.

**003\. Prank**

Tripping the Dib-monster as he walked by with his lunch tray had been very, very funny. Doing the same thing to the Gaz had proved very unfortunate, Zim thought, trying to untie his antennae from the flagpole as Dib laughed below.

**004\. Caught**

Dib could think of few things more terrifying than the sentence "Ms. Bitters caught you sister in the janitor's closet with Zim."

**005\. Anxiety**

_No,_ Gaz did _not_ care if Zim wanted to take her out for pizza again. The fact that she was playing video games by the phone was entirely coincidental.

**006\. Rock**

Most boys would be put off by that sort of thing, but since Zim still thought that Earth-love was pain-based, he merely collected all of the stones that Gaz threw at him and kept them in a shoe box.

**007\. Hire**

Stupid application, stupid interview **—** but Gaz wanted pizza every night, and this would be worth it for the monies to provide it.

**008\. I can't make you mine**

"Come on, Zim/Gaz. You can't just _order_ Gaz/Zim to do what you want. A real relationship is about sacrifice, doing something for somebody else. You have to treat her/him with actual respect."

Dib reread what he wrote, said "Yeah, that'll work," and started to memorize it in anticipation of their next fight.

**009\. Race**

It wasn't often that someone else got suspicious about Zim's green skin. Fortunately Gaz was able to get him fired and charged with a hate crime. 

**010\. Heartbreaker**

" _No,_ Zim, I'm not actually dumb enough to think that I can stop you and Gaz from doing this. But let me tell you this: I love Gaz, a lot. So if you _ever_ hurt her, I swear I'll have you strapped to a table and find out if you even have a heart. _GOT IT?!_ "

**011\. Language**

Gaz didn't know what that word Zim meant―it didn't even sound pronounceable with a human tongue―but based on his _tone_ she decided whacking him in the head was the best course of action.

**012\. Wait**

"Well, you know how girls are about getting ready. Why, on my first date…"

Zim pulled at his wig, eye twitching as Professor Membrane droned on.

**013\. Tongue-Tied**

"Ha! I can't believe you tried to trip her _AGAIN!_ " Dib said, doubled over with laughter. Zim glared as he tried to undo the knot trapping his tongue to the tetherball pole.

**014\. Crystal Clear**

"I don't know how you manage to misunderstand that girl so much," the Computer muttered, as Zim began to fuse a toy pig and a vampire together for Gaz's birthday present. "I mean, she's not exactly _subtle…_ "

**015\. Fraud**

"Big freakin' _deal_ that you're not a stupid Invader. You've been trying to destroy this planet for four years, and you've cost this city millions of dollars and Dib most of his sanity. If your _stupid_ little leaders don't appreciate that, then just tell them to go screw themselves." Gaz paused to sip her soda as Zim gaped at her in astonishment. "And besides, these 'Tallests' sound like pretty lousy leaders anyway."

**016\. Search**

"Can-dy? _CANDY?!_ Insolent fool!" Zim screamed, throwing the heart-shaped box back in the startled shopkeeper's face. "My precious Gaz-girl would never want that! _Although_...do you have a similar-looking package with some of those little pizza-bagels inside?"

**017\. Apart**

Zim loved Gaz so much, he never wanted to leave her side.

Fortunately her security dolls could handle him.

**018\. Personality**

Zim was loud; Gaz hated loud. Zim loved to talk; Gaz hated talking. Zim was stupid; Gaz hated stupid. And yet, for some reason, she stayed with him anyway.

**019\. Orange**

"Your smelly brother has apparently drinken the last of your sodas. Therefore _I_ have brought you _ORANGE JUICE!_ "

Vaguely Gaz wondered how Zim knew what her favorite backup drink was, but mostly she was just surprised how much his overly-dramatic posturing was a welcome change from most people's terrified stuttering. 

**020\. Crawl**

Annoyed after their stupid fight, Gaz stormed her way over to Zim's house and slammed through the door.

"Ah. Come crawling back to me, huh, Gaz-hyuman?"

Gaz's eyes widened before her hands balled into fists.

" _Agh!_ I mean— _I'm sorry, I'm sorry!_ "

**021\. Alternate Reality**

"And _this_ is what you'd look like as a cute little smeety-baby, and _this_ is you at the Academy, and look! You and Master's holdin' hands, hee-hee-hee-hee!"

Zim would never forgive GIR for finding those doodles.

**022\. Downstairs**

" _Squeak?_ "

"What? Oh," the Computer said. "They're downstairs in the labs."

" _Squeak?_ "

"What are they doing? Uh..." The Computer turned on his sensors in the lower part of the base. " _AGH!_ Man, you don't want to know."

**023\. Pop**

When Gaz first offered Zim the last soda in the fridge, he knew that she really loved him.

Of course, the soda was still toxic to him, a fact that he was momentarily too touched to remember, but... 

**024\. Cliché**

_PUNCH!_

And that was how Zim learned that, despite what all the movies showed, grabbing one's mate and pulling them into a passionate kiss would _not_ actually end an argument.

**025\. Memory**

"Hey, Zim? Do you remember our first date?"

"You mean when you threw water at me for taking you to a cheap restaurant and then stabbed me with your fork?"

"Yeah. Good times."

**026\. Bed**

For the life of him, Zim could not understand _why_ the horrible little Dib-monster threw such a stupid fit when he found Zim and Gaz sleeping together in her room.

And while Gaz was _always_ someone to be cautious around, he was further flummoxed when Minimoose's response was to lecture him about "protection."

**027\. Needle In A Haystack**

_I can't believe it,_ Zim thought. _I've actually found_ one _pitiful hyuman who I don't want to destroy._

 _I can't believe it,_ Gaz thought. _I've actually found_ one _stupid person who I don't want to destroy._

… _Well,_ that _badly, anyway._

**028\. Shave**

Gaz thought it was stupid when Dib tried to grow a mustache. She found a way to vent her frustrations, however, when Zim commented that so far _hers_ was much better looking.

**029\. Whatever**

Despite being utterly clueless about _anything_ else, somehow Zim wound up being the first person who could tell when Gaz's "whatevers" were actual apathy and when they were veiled threats.

**030\. Guardian**

Zim balanced on the tree branch, his eyes never leaving the quiet house. He didn't care how much Gaz said this was unnecessary **—** it was late and until either her father or the stupid Dib-stink got home, he wasn't going to move from this spot.

**031\. Infidelity**

"And _that's_ the standard human ritual for when you find your mate with another female," Gaz said, putting down the crayon she had been using to illustrate the process.

Zim wondered she managed to capture the color of Irken blood so perfectly.

**032\. Fiction**

"You know, that didn't really _happen,_ " Gaz grumbled, ten minutes into Zim's plan to recreate the zombie apocalypse that they'd seen in a movie.

**033\. A New World**

"…and rebuilt over the shattered civilization with I, the amazing ZIM!, as supreme overlord…and you, my scary darling, as my dark and terrible queen."

"Sure. Whatever," Gaz shrugged, her eyes never leaving the video game's screen.

**034\. Accuracy**

"You know, if you would just let me do it _myself_ _—_ "

"SILENCE!" Zim screamed, slamming another dollar bill on the counter. "Carnival-drone! Zim demands more balls! MORE BALLS! For as Irk as my witness, that Bitey doll shall be OURS!"

**035\. Fallen**

Gaz was never _mooshy_ and rarely openly nice, but when Zim failed she was always there to grab him and pull him back onto his feet.

**036\. Original**

She hadn't liked it, hadn't wanted it and it really meant nothing given whom it was from. But still, Zim could never _quite_ forgive GIR for being the first person to ever kiss Gaz, even if it _was_ just another moment of his random, joyful stupidity.

**037\. Abstract**

"To be fair, my Tallest, the idea of hyumans being pathetic pig-smellies worthy only of abject slavery and utter annihilation really only works in the abstract. I can think of at least one counterexample…"

**038\. Imperfection**

Of course Zim knew he was perfect, so there really was no reason to listen to what any of those other fools said. Yet for some reason, he couldn't help but dwell on it a little whenever it was the _Gaz-hyuman_ who criticized him.

**039\. Let's Go**

Gaz threw down her napkin. "An entire planet of restaurants, and not _ONE_ pizzeria?! Come on, we're leaving." 

**040\. Left Behind**

Gaz didn't even watch as the Voot Cruiser flew away. "Like I care."

Dib looked away, pretending that he hadn't heard the sob in her voice.

**041\. Potential**

Dib was ecstatic. Gaz really _did_ want to save the planet after all! With the two of them together, nothing could go wrong!

It took about ten failed missions before he realized that she was sabotaging him. 

**042\. Demon**

"And to think, Dib thought that just killing you would be enough to end our relationship," Gaz muttered, pulling him after her while off-handedly punching Señor Diablo in the jaw.

**043\. Jump**

"Foolish fool-monkey! I AM ZIM! I do not listen to the commands of any stinky Earth-creature, and I _—_ "

Gaz growled.

"Um...h- _how_ high did you say again?"

**044\. Punish**

Gaz heard Zim scream from Dib's makeshift autopsy lab downstairs.

"I _warned_ him not to be late to the prom," she muttered, vowing not to intervene for at least another five minutes.

**045\. Over**

"It's not over until _I_ say it's over. _Got it?_ "

Zim turned pale, realizing that with that simple statement she had overthrown every Irken law about Invader-alien romance.

**046\. Deception**

The remote was crushed in Dib's hand as Zim and Gaz's wave of destruction played out on the news. 

**047\. Thunder**

"Actually, that was lightning," Gaz said, not looking up as the blackened and crusty Irken collapsed into the nearest chair.

**048\. Welcome**

Even he, the amazing ZIM!, had never expected such an esteemed and lavish welcome when the pair boarded the Massive. But then, the Tallests had learned their lesson about making that strange alien girl angry. 

**049\. Stop**

The thing was, sometimes Gaz really _did_ want to break up with him. Being the control freak that she was, it was rather terrifying to realize that she simply couldn't.

**050\. Writers' Choice _—_ Sacrifice**

" _Ugh..._ but it's for my Gaz-love," Zim grumbled, inserting a sample of filthy hyuman DNA into the machine.

He took one final, unsteady breath as an Irken, then pressed the button.


End file.
